Lonliness

Loneliness isn't just something you feel. It's something you live. My emotions are all over the board lately. I can't seem to get it together. I want to cry at the littlest of things and yell and scream and stomp my feet. But, it doesn't help. My poor boys. Their Daddy is out of town, and their Mommy is falling apart. I'm withdrawing. I can feel it. I don't even want to talk to anyone, even when T calls. Tonight he said something about it. "How are you today?" he asked..."OK" was my response. "You always say OK.... you just keep sucking it up." so I retorted with "That's how you taught me..." (an old joke about soldier and family sucking it up). "It's getting hard to read you lately, you're not very talkative." (Hmmm no kidding!) "Don't really feel much like talking the last few days" The sad thing is, sometimes I stare at my cell phone begging for it to ring.....and the moment it does I cringe at the thought of continuing this charade of "I'm OK" cause I am not. But there is no cure for me. Only time, and tears, and this my friends sums me up. As always thank for your time, love and support.
Yours always,
Nika